Posted by: b12dreamer | February 7, 2012

Seeing Dead People in Dreams – Is It Really Them?

My girlfriend’s father died recently. He was a great and successful man, with unrivaled charm and wit. There has never been anyone like him on this Earth, and there never will be. No remembrance by me will do him justice, so if you’d like a proper idea of who he was head over to where his son-in-law shares with us the sort of commendation he would deserve.

A few days after his death, the lady had been telling me of her dreams in which he would visit her, speak with her, and give her comfort and realization of her newfound goals. Realizing that his soul was ever-present in her daily life, I would smile every time she would talk about it. See, I hold the belief that when you see a dead person in a dream, it is actually them coming to visit you.

Frequent commenter Matteus has this to say,

“Don’t freak out, but our diseased relatives and close friends can contact us in our dreams and when we are “out of body”. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. That is because when people die, the only part of them that dies is the outer shell (body), but they go on living, only on a different plane of existence known as the astral plane. If you learn to astral project or have an OOBE, you can once again make contact with your grandma and ask her what it was that she wanted to say.”

Just like when my best friend had a dream of our mutual friend visiting him, asking for help – that was him. Well, either that, or it was his way of coping with the loss of our friend, just as its my girlfriend’s way of coping with the loss of her father. But then, you must ask, why was our friend asking for help? Was he having trouble “passing,” or did my best friend just fear that he would?

A study done by Dierdre Barrett, Ph.D, clinical psychologist and professor at Harvard Medical School, explains how dreams of the deceased are actually metaphoric and show where exactly someone is in the grieving process (when it is a loved one who has died).   The purpose of these dreams is to resolve any guilt or grief left over from the loss of someone close.

While I disagree with a few points in her post, Christina over at Divine Caroline gives a good summary of the various things it could mean when a dead person appears in your dream, whether they have already passed or are still living.

Also, be sure to check out Tony Crisp’s outstanding feature on dead people in dreams - there’s some valuable clues in there.

What are your thoughts, contributors? Have you ever had the experience of a dead friend or relative visiting you in your dreams, and do you believe it was actually them or some aspect of your own subconscious?

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  1. Hey I saw your blog and think it’s really awesome. I myself have had a few lucid dreams, and am going into medicine. I was hoping I could help by contributing to the website with my research, and keeping your blog up to date. I have a few ideas on things that could be tried while lucid dreaming like maybe going to your mental library of your subconscious. Where said to be the storage house of everything you have ever seen, touched, smelled, and learned since birth!!!!!! Sorry got a little carried away their, but I hope you’ll give me an opportunity to help you on your blog.

  2. Thank you Ray! I’d be glad to have you help and contribute to the Blog, after all this is a resource for all types of information on dreaming. Why don’t you email me at and we can talk! Remember to claim who you are, please, so I know its you sending the mail.

  3. My Father died a month back,
    we went aboard together for 13 days,n while departing we had a little argument regarding something and I didn’t say bye, i stay with my mother, my parents were separated. After 4 days,he passes away. He visited me and my mom consequently 2days. My mom doesn’t like talking about it, but i saw that he’s back to life, in his own body (he was cremated) and he is not sure how it happened or what he is & he was talking to me about something important that i do not remember. We i woke up, i ran into the living room to see if he was there, but he wasn’t. the dream was so real!
    Why did he visit me? what did he want to tell me? i need your suggestion.
    Please reply on my id-
    thank you so so much.

  4. This morning whist taking a nap at the same time of my daughter, I had a dream that involved sitting down and having a conversation with my late friend Alan who died last year of cardiac arrest. During the conversation I asked him some questions about what it feels like to be dead. These are the responses that I had, as soon as I awoke I wrote them out with a pen as to avoid forgetting them as I have the tendency to do this one I am awake.
    Me “How are you Alan, been a while?”
    Alan “Things are different now, it’s the same only much lonelier”
    “Me – What does it feel like to be dead?”
    “You go on feeling the same about yourself, but you feel a sense of loss for the living as if everyone has died expect for yourself”
    “I miss you, it is nice to see you”
    Alan “I am alone here and I am sad”
    That is all that I can recall and now I think about it, it saddens me that I should have this dream. Did he really visit me to sell me that he was in some kind of purgatory or was a facsimile, a construct of mind acting as a means to consolidate my mourning process in order to allow me to come to terms with his passing? Who knows. Catch me
    I will tell you one when I had seen my father who passed 30th Nov 2012 of lung cancer.

    My dad was born in Limerick Ireland in 1946, there were many sisters and borthers and survival was difficult and he did whatever he could to survive. To say the very least that he had a very poor upbringing. At the precicse moment that he died (I know this as I checked the time) my daughter awoke in a frenzy and panic, which was really out of character for her. She was inconsolable to the point where it had taken me at least 40 minutes to calm her down.

    What had caused that disturbance? The next day I found out that my dad had died at around half three in the morning and this coincided precisely with the time in which my daughter awoke. I knew that my father was terminally ill and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I get that phone call. Well, the next morning I had a call from my brother Michael who explained to me that dad had died. I had an inner intuition when my daughter awoke – I said to myself – “I bet that was dad saying goodbye” Well, I think that I proved that to be correct. I feel he came to see us on his parting from this Earth.

    The reason I said about his poor upbringing was for this reason. A few days after he had passed I found myself in a place that can only be described as a palatial manner house. Sitting down at the mighty table I could see my dad sitting there. He was jolly and happy, as he always is. We spoke, although the precise details evades me now. What I found to be funny was that a butler cam in and in his had he held one of those really expensive looking trays with the silver plated cover over the food. When the butler presented the mean there were three boiled eggs sitting on the tray. Dad had simple likes and despite wanting to be seen in the lap of luxury, he still had the same simple tates. Wonderful. That was typically of my dads sense of humour.

    Thought I would share these little experiences with you, I cherish them all. So far there has been at least 4 or 5 occasions where I have seen and spoken to the deceased in my dreams. I am open to your comments.

  5. I wanted to share what happened to me. I am not a spiritual person, i havent ever really believed in physic phenomena, nor am i religious in anyway.
    My dad passed aways pretty suddenly on about a month ago. It was hard for me at first, but because of his health issues due to alcoholism, i was put at ease knowing he doesnt have to suffer or be alone anymore. I questioned myself several times over the last few weeks, why im not mourning anymore, when i think about his passing im ok with it, and i felt very confused. My sisters would still cry everytime we talked about it, but not me. I was ok. Then saturday night/morning, i had one of the most amazing, overwhelming, emotional things happen that i still cant really explain. I think its harder because i dont believe in a particular god or religion or afterlife.
    I was dreaming that i was putting my christmas tree up in my living room and it was dark, the only lights were those lit by the tree. I was standing on somekind of foot stool reashing over my head to put the angel on top, then i heard someone talking to me. I knew it was a mans voice but i couldnt understand anything he was saying, almost like it was another language, but it was very soothing. I turned around to look at his face, and it was my dad, sitting on my couch. He had this huge smile on his face. My mind felt very confused because looking at him, i knew he couldnt be sitting there. I didnt know why, but i kept saying, “Dad, you cant be here, what are you doing here” and he just kept smiling at me. As i climbed down from the stool, i remembered why he couldnt be here, he was dead. I started crying and could barely get the words out” what are you doing here dad, your dead”. He just smiled at me, lookied me in the eyes and said” Im ok” I came to see how you are”. I completely fell apart, like a child who hasnt seen her daddy in years and missed him everynight. Tears ran down my face, i couldnt catch my breath, emotions totally consumed me, and i sat on the couch next to him and he hugged me, still smiling. his hug was so warm and strong. he was wearing his black leather jacket that he always wore when i was a child. He was healthy, happy and strong again. I just hugged him, and cried and cried. I felt him, like he was there, really there. He kept saying “im ok, Im ok” and i could feel his happiness radiating out of him. I couldnt let go, i told him i didnt want to let go because i dont want him to go away. He said to me” this wont be the last time you see me, i will be back honey” with that smile on his face. As soon as my arms released him, i saw his face one more time, I felt his happiness, and i immediately woke up.
    I woke up crying like a child, just totally sobbing, I couldnt breathe, yet i felt this overwhelming feeling of happiness, that i got to see my dad again. I tried rationalizing it as a really good dream, but it wasnt a dream. My dreams before that had ended, i still remember those. But this wasnt like any dream i had ever had before. I have had dreams that feel real, but i couldnt even explain this. I could actually feel him, i could touch him, we talked to each other, i felt something strong even when i woke up.
    I told my sister about it and she just cried. She said i should feel extrememly lucky that i got to see and talk to him. None of us got to say goodbye to our father since it was sudden, and i do feel overjoyed that I got to talk to him one more time. But i am so confused, because im not religious, im not spiritual, i dont know what i believe in, but i do know that this experience has left me with alot to think about, i just dont know what.

  6. I awoke from a dream on Feb 28th, it was the mother of a girl I went to school with 16 years ago, I had forgotten all about her, she came to me and said grab her face and tell her to relax everything was going to be fine. I ignored the dream, thought I was crazy. I Facebook searched for the girl and found her but couldn’t bring myself to tell her cuz…it sounded crazy, she came back and was like tell her, so I did and I guess a trait of her mothers was to grab her face, I’m completely freaked out, I never knew her mom, I hadn’t even seen the friend in 15 years. What is going on?

  7. I have over the past several years had dreams with deceased loved ones but, this particular one is very important and I’m not sure what I can do about it. I have a very good friend that came up missing, last seen Christmas Day 2010. we all know that he is deceased most likely foul play. But in my dream there he is great big smile letting me know that he knows he’s dead but he’s ok. I say to him “Larry what happened, where are you? He looked to his left so I follow his gaze and on a huge rock is a pile of money. I forgot to mention that he is standing in moving water above his knees. Anyway, no surprise that he was killed over money, when I look back he’s gone. Next thing I Know I’m walking down a fence line in the woods, pucker brush and such. Then I’m in a hole but inside the hole is a kitchen and a lady with very long black hair there. I didn’t recognize her as anyone that I know. The around the corner of the fridge comes Larry. I’m curious about what is in that room so I go look and it is a childrens bedroom with bunk beds and then I’m back up out of the hole and it’s over. Sticks with me though what to do with the sketchy information. Then one day we were heading to sister-in-laws for Thanksgiving driving down the freeway I’m just gazing out the window and the next thing I feel is there it is! that’s the fence, there’s the water and the puckerbrush/woods. I’m thinking he’s buried out there somewhere! I can’t loose the feeling but it’s still a very large area. But I want to do something to help recover his body for his mom ,sister, kids and loved ones. I’ve thought about hypnotism, possibly helping me to recall something I might have forgotten and I’ve tried to get him to come back and finish letting me know what happened and where he is. Ideas anyone? Susie

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